Sunday, November 27, 2016

Top 4 Symptoms That Could Have a Sword Addiction

You may notice certain physical and psychological reactions when you hear swords mentioned, see swords, or touch a sword. This need not cause concern. It could be that you have a condition known as "sword addiction." Unlike a drug or alcohol addiction, a sword addiction provides positive benefits. Most sword addicts get lots of exercise wielding their weapons and participating in melee exercises. They may lift weights regularly to enhance their capabilities with heavier swords and participate in fencing classes to improve technique. If you're not sure if you developed sword addiction, review the following top four symptoms. If you've at least three symptoms, this indicates sword addiction.

Sword Addiction Symptom #1: Salivation
The first and most common symptom involves salivation at the mention or sight of a sword. More serious levels of this symptom involve this involuntary bodily reaction at the sight of a mere picture or video of a sword or swords. Touching a sword may cause saliva to collect, forming a "drool pool" at the feet or in the lap of the addict, depending on whether they are standing or sitting. This can cause wet spots on the floor and a slipping hazard. Doctors recommend the addict carry a handkerchief at all times to wipe up drool. It's chivalrous to keep others safe.

Sword Addiction Symptom #2: Sweaty Palms
The second most common symptom, sweaty palms, people sometimes mistake as a nervous symptom. It, however, indicates the body's need to hold a sword, when experienced by a sword addict. Again, doctors recommend carrying a handkerchief at all times so the sword addict can wipe their hands dry before handling a sword. Slippery or wet hands do not combine well with sharp objects. 

Sword Addiction Symptom #3: The Clinch/Clinch Hands
Early stages of clinch hands involve a twitchy thumb. The addict's hands want to hold a sword. In the early stages, flipping open a folding pocket knife can help by giving the individual a blade, though small to hold. Later stages though, involve inability to unclench one's hand from around the hilt of a sword. In the latest stage of this symptom, the only way to extract the sword from the addict's hand before they are willing to return it to its display case is to pry it from the individual's hand after death.

Sword Addiction Symptom #4: Anthropomorphism 
Do you anthropomorphize your swords? That is, do you name them and assign them human traits? Simply naming each sword indicates the early stage of this symptom. You have reached the final stage of this symptom when you provide your swords their own bedroom. Having their own room, traits and names indicates the highest level of anthropomorphism. 

Relax. The good news for sword addicts is it is a harmless addiction, so long as the addict adheres to the prescribed handkerchief precaution. Sword addiction positively benefits both the economy and the addict. Addicts find no benefit in either tapering off or cold turkey quitting. The only known treatment for sword addiction is to sword shop. Sword addicts commonly visit for great deals on swords and a vast selection of blades. Early treatment and regular sword play bring about the best outcome.

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